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As a person living with a seizure disorder since the age of 7, it has been hard not to question God and ask 'why?'. I have prayed many times for healing of such and still letting patience have her perfect work. But on that Sunday morning, 5 years ago, I felt betrayed. For God knew my heart and my thoughts and knew how I came to my own understanding. I thought God, the Heavenly Father and I had an agreement. Praying while getting ready for Church, my husband knocked on the door to tell me our 7 year old son was having a seizure. Instantly I screamed with all anger, "NO GOD, NO!!" In the scream, my thoughts of why not went flowing in my mind. "You know this child refuses to medicines. He will not want to swallow it. He will keep having seizures. God, this isn't fair for a child steadfast on being drug free for you." Once we had our son in the E.R., my husband prayed silently. I had to boldly crawl before the Throne of Grace, therefore my prayer was silent. The Lord reminded me, He was in control. It turned out the seizure was caused by a brain tumor, which was removed months later. Our son was prescribed anti-convulsion medication.Many times, I swept pills from under the stove or refrigerator. I asked the Lord to prepare us for what was ahead, however he hasn't had another seizure. Our son has not been taking medication for several months now. When I pray, talk, speak with the Heavenly Father, its with respect. This has changed my prayer attitude toward the Heavenly Father. I learned to be thankful for all things, including seizures. For if it were not for the one seizure, we wouldn't have known of the brain tumor. Therefore When God is in Control, its for His Glory.

God is the Almighty, the All Knowing, the All powerful. He is in control. I must have "blind" faith in HIM. He is my Savior. Lean on Christ, not on my understanding.